33..Single And Celibate

Hello readers! With my 34th birthday quickly approaching next month, I can’t help but reflect on life, relationships and decisions that have gotten me to this moment. Sure, it wasn’t always a smooth ride but I’m so happy and grateful for my journey and all that I have learned so far. As I sit here and choose to be nothing but transparent with all of you, I’m trying to pinpoint the exact moment when I made up in my mind that I was going to be celibate and single by choice.

I remember back in middle school, me and my then best friend decided to make a pact that we would remain virgins until we were married. It was one of the best decisions that I made at such a young and impressionable age. I believe it was the perfect age to make that decision, only because there was so much peer pressure even in middle school to become sexually active and to even try drugs. When I transitioned to high school, the pressure became even more evident. People that heard of this pact that I made or just by having deep conversations with me would always ask me why I chose to wait. There were several people who treated me as if I was the plague and there was something wrong with me for making that decision. Their exact words were “what are you waiting for? Just get rid of it like everyone else.”

That began to make my mind wonder because I wasn’t the most popular girl in school. Sure I had friends that were preps, hipsters, athletes and what some would call “nerds” but I was never seen as the girl that would be a guys first choice to ask to prom. I was so focused on academics, student counsel, etc. Fast forwarding to my 20’s, I was still a virgin until the age of 26. I remember feeling regret after I made that life changing decision. I definitely beat myself up about it for a while. I then chose to learn and grow from the situation..A few years later I was having a conversation with this guy I was getting to know. He understood my decision to be celibate until marriage however he like other people you will meet, decided to be very vocal about why having sex BEFORE marriage was a good idea. He stated how will you know if you’re sexually compatible with someone before you marry them, unless you take that step.

I was reminded in that moment that if someone is trying their best to convince you as to why you shouldn’t remain celibate or that you should compromise your values by either their actions or their words..Then what you have and who you are is more valuable than you know. After that conversation, a light bulb seriously came on. I finally got it! I’ve been questioned by family, associates and the like, asking me when am I going to have children. I think their biological clock is ticking faster than mine. I say the same four words time and time again..”When I get married.” I’m not here to pass judgment about anyone that chooses to have sex before they’re married. I’m here to tell my story and to say that in this era it’s not weird, crazy or delusional for anyone to choose to be celibate until marriage.

For those that have made certain decisions in the past and are still beating themselves up about it, I’m here to tell you to seriously LET IT GO. There is nothing you can do about the choices you have made in the past. All you can do is learn from it and grow because of it! Whatever you did last year, last month or yesterday does NOT make you a horrible person and does NOT define who you are! We are human, we are not perfect..We fall but it is up to us individually to get back up and say I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED. THIS IS NOT HOW MY STORY ENDS. I truly hope that my story encourages and reminds you that whatever you are facing, you a not alone in this journey called life!


Be A Light,



No Greater Moment Than Now!

It’s so easy to get caught up in what people believe your life should be or how it should go. So many times we put the needs of others before ourselves and before we know it, we look up and years have passed us by. I do believe in being selfless but I don’t believe in being so selfless that you forfeit your dreams and your purpose. 

There’s no greater moment than now! Yes, things may be going on in your life and you may not feel that you’re ready to take that next step…But let me tell you this..There will ALWAYS be something going on. Distractions will ALWAYS be there..Your family will ALWAYS need you to drop what you’re doing and come to their rescue..Your job will ALWAYS have its challenges and YES LIFE WILL ALWAYS BE HAPPENING!

When will you come to your own rescue? When will you realize that you matterYour purpose matters! You’ve survived this far for a reason and no one can fulfill your destiny but you! So as you go about your day today, remember that GREATNESS IS INSIDE OF YOU! Be BOLD..Be FEARLESS…Be RELENTLESS in PURSUING YOUR PURPOSE!

~De’Andrea Reese

Dating With A Purpose

 When was the last time you dated with a purpose? Sure you have to get to know someone and your initial connection may be based simply off of looks or a mutual interest BUT WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE INITIAL ATTRACTION ISN’T ENOUGH? What do you do when you notice that the only thing that person is inviting in your life is drama or just an unexplainable void. Do you continue to pursue what “might” be the potential of a person or do you recognize the reality of the situation and go your separate ways?


The other day I was thinking about why our society is so focused on staying up to date with the latest fashion and technology however people are still dating and dealing with their own lives carelessly. When did we reach a point to where we value material things more than we do our own wellbeing? Why do some people date haphazardly? Why waste time when it comes to dating someone once you realize that the connection is toxic? Is it because there are feelings of loneliness and you long for companionship no matter what values you might be compromising or is it because you just have to have someone in your space or be in a relationship no matter the circumstance?


I ask these questions not to point the finger but for you to reflect on your own life and ask yourself is this something that you can relate to. As I always say, know your worth and don’t settle out of the fear of being by yourself. If you are single, use this time to find your purpose and go after it! If you are dating someone and you know they aren’t the one for you, don’t string them along. Be honest with them and be honest with yourself and let them know how you feel. You don’t want to waste your time or theirs. 


So What’s Stopping You?

The prisoner,burden

Have you ever stopped to take inventory or reflect on where you currently are in life? Many emotions may arise during this process but it is one of the most beneficial things you could do for yourself IF you truly want to be successful. One of my favorite quotes says “It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness, but it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance and growth.” One of the most difficult things in life is to deal with the past, accept what has happened and GROW FORWARD in spite of it.

It is part of the human mind to naturally want to focus on negative situations or circumstances we have previously experienced. Some of you may have family members that continuously identify you with your past and refuse to see the person you are becoming or can be. Then there are others who are allowing the space between their ears, to get the best of them. I want to remind you that everything you’ve been through is DIRECTLY connected to your purpose. At the end of the day, what you BELIEVE and what you THINK is what will manifest! If you BELIEVE you are unworthy of being successful or having successful relationships, then that is what you will see take place…BUT if you know in your heart and walk in the truth that you are worthy of love, healthy relationships and living life fearlessly..Then that is exactly what will manifest!

No one will make you want more for yourself.

No one will make you change your thinking.

No one will make you step out from the norm and follow your dreams.

The choice has been and will always be yours!


Birthday Thoughts


Tomorrow is my birthday and I couldn’t feel more blessed than I do right now. There’s so many lessons I’ve learned so far but the most important things that resonate with me are to not be so hard on yourself. Take everything one day at a time and guess what, if you mess up, you can always start over.

Love yourself. Truly love who you are in the moment and don’t settle for mediocrity. Don’t dwell on the things that you can’t change. Focus all of your energy on being a light of encouragement to others. We’re all facing some kind of obstacle.

Finally never be ashamed of your story and of your past. The past is not who you are…But whether good or the not so good days, it’s helped you become the amazing person that you are today ❤️


I Don’t Know What I’m Worth Anymore

I Don’t Know What I’m Worth Anymore


Through all of the airbrushed, lightened and photoshopped pictures, it can get pretty cloudy and frustrating for some women to fully embrace who God has called them to be. Let’s be honest, the world has become overly obsessed with unrealistic ideas of what they think a woman should look like or even the way she should carry herself. If we’re truly honest ladies we’ve all been there…Unsure if we’re enough, who will love us and all of our flaws or should we settle for “Fool or Mr. No Good” because we don’t want to be lonely. Then we start to unfairly compare ourselves to Beyonce, Kim Kardashian and the like because that’s what seems to draw every man’s attention, all the while not realizing that we’re not comparing ourselves to those ladies at all…We’re actually comparing ourselves to their representative. That’s right! A FALSE idea of who the world thinks that they are.

I try not to pay too much attention to what’s on TV nowadays but the other day I was watching the Billboard Awards and I couldn’t help but see a trend that has become un-shockingly numb to most of our population. I saw flawless makeup, beautiful hairstyles, memorable performances and I also witnessed some questionable fashion statements. I was actually having a conversation with my grandmother at the time and she couldn’t believe some of the stuff she was seeing either. Ok, I get it. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be beautiful or wear a fashionable dress but when did it become ok to wear hardly anything in public? My grandmother raised me to always leave something to the imagination and leave some things for your husband’s eyes only. Sure, I may be a little old fashioned but I still think those same morals can be applied in this era.

Whoever is reading this, I just want you to know that you don’t have to lessen your value in order to be beautiful. You don’t have to post explicit pictures of yourself all over social media to gain the attention of people you’re probably never going to personally meet and you definitely don’t have to sleep with someone to prove that you’re enough. LISTEN TO ME! YOU ARE ALWAYS ENOUGH! You’re GORGEOUS, ONE OF A KIND and ROYALTY. You’re worth is not based off of how many followers you have on Instagram or Twitter. You’re UNIQUE, SMART and in spite of what you’ve been told, YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE. Don’t ever allow anyone including yourself, to fill your head with thoughts of doubt.










De’Andrea xo

Falling Back in Love with the Holy Spirit


If we’re all honest with ourselves, we can say that in the past we’ve pushed away from God and His will for our lives. I remember the times when I wasn’t trying to hear anything God was saying in regards to what He wanted for my life. Those were days full of much frustration, anxiousness and bitterness. Sure, at the time I was thinking that I knew what was best, but in all actuality I didn’t. How could God ever know exactly what I was feeling and going through? He knew nothing about being abandoned, brokenhearted, lied on, stabbed in the back by those that were closest to me and being used for someone else’s satisfaction or selfish desires…BUT God did know how all of that felt and so much more. I think every now and then we forget just how much our heartbeat matches that of our Father’s.

So during this time of reconciliation with Jesus, I began asking myself “how did I get here?” I know we’ve all been there. That’s always how sin starts off. We begin flirting with the idea and before we know it we’re deep off into a cycle of desperation and recklessness. Sure we may think that we’re living the life now but in reality we’re COMMITTING SPIRITUAL SUICIDE. Many things can cause us to push away from God and chase our own selfish cravings. Trying to fit in with the world and not realizing we were created to be set apart is a definite way of merely existing and not living to your full potential. Just because we were made to be set apart doesn’t mean we have to have a boring life. So many people think that if someone is saved, that means their life has to be bland, dull and boring when that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Another thing that can cause us to push away from God is disconnecting from Him and not spending time communicating and being in fellowship with our Father on a daily basis. Some people think that it’s not necessary to have that quiet time every day or it’s only needed when they come against hard times. I was one of those people. I wasn’t being disciplined in making sure that I kept God number one in my life or I would only communicate with Him when I was praying over my meals for the day. Wow, how many of us have been there? By doing that, we allow ourselves to become vulnerable to the things of this world. Something that has always stuck with me throughout the years is that WHATEVER YOU FEED WILL GROW. A farmer doesn’t plant potatoes and then later on expect for his harvest to be grapes. No, he plants exactly what he desires his harvest to be. The same goes for us. So if all you’re doing is watching shows that glamorize adultery, murder, fornication, foul language…Then that’s exactly what you’re PLANTING and NOURISHING into your spirit. If all you’re doing is listening to music that idolizes money, violence, sex, disrespecting women and ourselves as a people…Again, that’s exactly what will harvest in your own life.

We have to be wise about our relationships and make sure that we’re not attaching ourselves with distractions and toxic relationships rather than divine connections. I’m not saying that every relationship or friendship will be peachy perfect but we all know when we’re linked to someone or something that we shouldn’t be. We also know when The Holy Spirit is pulling us away from what could be detrimental to our purpose. So the question is do you know if you’re currently attached to something or someone that you know isn’t of a great benefit to your life and purpose? If so, it’s time to face the music of reality and truly figure out if you want to continue to commit spiritual suicide or if you want more for your life. I believe that God has so much more for you than what your current circumstances are telling you. I may not know what you’re going through right now but I do know that everything that you could ever need or want is found in Jesus. It doesn’t matter if it’s depression, low self-esteem, heartbreak, abandonment, struggling with forgiving yourself or someone else, a marriage that may be going through a challenging season right now, anxious thoughts, financial strain, WHATEVER IT IS…The answer is Jesus.

You’ve waited long enough. It’s time to repent, uproot and address those toxic emotions from the past, cut off whoever or whatever it is that’s aiding in keeping you stagnant and truly chase after God.

Father, we just want to say thank You for just being who You are. Thank You for loving us in spite of the times when we didn’t love ourselves. Thank you for the forgiveness and freedom that we have in You. Right now I come praying for your child. You know their situation and you know what they are in need of today. Dad they want to get right with you. They want more of you. So give them Your courage and strength to walk away from anything that’s not a direct reflection of You. Mend their brokenness and make them whole in You. Remind your child how much You love them and all that You see in them. That they are not their past! Their value is not dependent upon what anyone else thinks but their worth is in You and who You say they are. Let them know that there’s nothing they could ever do to make You love them any less. Let them feel Your presence right now as you fill their heart with Your love, joy and peace. Help your child to walk in the boldness and authority that You’ve given them. Remind them that right now in this moment, whatever they were holding onto, You’ve wiped the slate clean. Today is a new beginning in You! A fresh start. In Jesus name, Amen!

De’Andrea xo