I remember when I was a child, I was very quiet and would often be found in the company of a good book. This awkwardly tall, wearing pink framed glasses with several braids in her hair young girl, knew she was different. I didn’t have many friends but I do remember a select few who made a positive imprint on my childhood. There was a time during those years where I tried my hardest to fit in with all of the other kids. I just wanted to be accepted and embraced by my peers and not seen as weird or unpopular. No matter what I wore, said or did, I was never truly accepted as their equal. Later on in my teen years God began to speak to me about why I never was able to fit in with my peers.
He shared with me that my frustration was all self-induced. That no matter how hard I tried, I would never fit in with them because He had set me apart for a greater purpose. That my longing to be accepted was actually my fear of being great! I share this small fraction of a story to remind you that you were not blessed with this life to be mediocre. We ALL have a purpose and it’s up to YOU to HEAR IT, EMBRACE IT and LIVE IT. I know that this year may have been the hardest for many but DO NOT GIVE UP. The world needs YOU and your gifts. There will be a number of things that will try to come in the way of you living your best life. The NUMBER ONE FACTOR is YOU. Many of us don’t want to face the truth..There was even a time when I didn’t want to accept “the ugly truth”. We can be our worst critics sometimes..Even most of the time. We try to talk ourselves out of moving to a new city, applying for that position, taking a chance on love and yes, even walking into our purpose.
At the end of the day, what other people have said or even done to you won’t matter. What WILL matter is how you learned from life’s challenges and that you in turn allowed it to be the fuel to step out of mediocrity and unapologetically walk into your purpose!
Hello readers! With my 34th birthday quickly approaching next month, I can’t help but reflect on life, relationships and decisions that have gotten me to this moment. Sure, it wasn’t always a smooth ride but I’m so happy and grateful for my journey and all that I have learned so far. As I sit here and choose to be nothing but transparent with all of you, I’m trying to pinpoint the exact moment when I made up in my mind that I was going to be celibate and single by choice.
I remember back in middle school, me and my then best friend decided to make a pact that we would remain virgins until we were married. It was one of the best decisions that I made at such a young and impressionable age. I believe it was the perfect age to make that decision, only because there was so much peer pressure even in middle school to become sexually active and to even try drugs. When I transitioned to high school, the pressure became even more evident. People that heard of this pact that I made or just by having deep conversations with me would always ask me why I chose to wait. There were several people who treated me as if I was the plague and there was something wrong with me for making that decision. Their exact words were “what are you waiting for? Just get rid of it like everyone else.”
That began to make my mind wonder because I wasn’t the most popular girl in school. Sure I had friends that were preps, hipsters, athletes and what some would call “nerds” but I was never seen as the girl that would be a guys first choice to ask to prom. I was so focused on academics, student counsel, etc. Fast forwarding to my 20’s, I was still a virgin until the age of 26. I remember feeling regret after I made that life changing decision. I definitely beat myself up about it for a while. I then chose to learn and grow from the situation..A few years later I was having a conversation with this guy I was getting to know. He understood my decision to be celibate until marriage however he like other people you will meet, decided to be very vocal about why having sex BEFORE marriage was a good idea. He stated how will you know if you’re sexually compatible with someone before you marry them, unless you take that step.
I was reminded in that moment that if someone is trying their best to convince you as to why you shouldn’t remain celibate or that you should compromise your values by either their actions or their words..Then what you have and who you are is more valuable than you know. After that conversation, a light bulb seriously came on. I finally got it! I’ve been questioned by family, associates and the like, asking me when am I going to have children. I think their biological clock is ticking faster than mine. I say the same four words time and time again..”When I get married.” I’m not here to pass judgment about anyone that chooses to have sex before they’re married. I’m here to tell my story and to say that in this era it’s not weird, crazy or delusional for anyone to choose to be celibate until marriage.
For those that have made certain decisions in the past and are still beating themselves up about it, I’m here to tell you to seriously LET IT GO. There is nothing you can do about the choices you have made in the past. All you can do is learn from it and grow because of it! Whatever you did last year, last month or yesterday does NOT make you a horrible person and does NOT define who you are! We are human, we are not perfect..We fall but it is up to us individually to get back up and say I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED. THIS IS NOT HOW MY STORY ENDS. I truly hope that my story encourages and reminds you that whatever you are facing, you a not alone in this journey called life!
Be A Light,
It’s so easy to get caught up in what people believe your life should be or how it should go. So many times we put the needs of others before ourselves and before we know it, we look up and years have passed us by. I do believe in being selfless but I don’t believe in being so selfless that you forfeit your dreams and your purpose.
There’s no greater moment than now! Yes, things may be going on in your life and you may not feel that you’re ready to take that next step…But let me tell you this..There will ALWAYS be something going on. Distractions will ALWAYS be there..Your family will ALWAYS need you to drop what you’re doing and come to their rescue..Your job will ALWAYS have its challenges and YES LIFE WILL ALWAYS BE HAPPENING!
When will you come to your own rescue? When will you realize that you matter…Your purpose matters! You’ve survived this far for a reason and no one can fulfill your destiny but you! So as you go about your day today, remember that GREATNESS IS INSIDE OF YOU! Be BOLD..Be FEARLESS…Be RELENTLESS in PURSUING YOUR PURPOSE!
When was the last time you dated with a purpose? Sure you have to get to know someone and your initial connection may be based simply off of looks or a mutual interest BUT WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE INITIAL ATTRACTION ISN’T ENOUGH? What do you do when you notice that the only thing that person is inviting in your life is drama or just an unexplainable void. Do you continue to pursue what “might” be the potential of a person or do you recognize the reality of the situation and go your separate ways?
The other day I was thinking about why our society is so focused on staying up to date with the latest fashion and technology however people are still dating and dealing with their own lives carelessly. When did we reach a point to where we value material things more than we do our own wellbeing? Why do some people date haphazardly? Why waste time when it comes to dating someone once you realize that the connection is toxic? Is it because there are feelings of loneliness and you long for companionship no matter what values you might be compromising or is it because you just have to have someone in your space or be in a relationship no matter the circumstance?
I ask these questions not to point the finger but for you to reflect on your own life and ask yourself is this something that you can relate to. As I always say, know your worth and don’t settle out of the fear of being by yourself. If you are single, use this time to find your purpose and go after it! If you are dating someone and you know they aren’t the one for you, don’t string them along. Be honest with them and be honest with yourself and let them know how you feel. You don’t want to waste your time or theirs.
Have you ever stopped to take inventory or reflect on where you currently are in life? Many emotions may arise during this process but it is one of the most beneficial things you could do for yourself IF you truly want to be successful. One of my favorite quotes says “It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness, but it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance and growth.” One of the most difficult things in life is to deal with the past, accept what has happened and GROW FORWARD in spite of it.
It is part of the human mind to naturally want to focus on negative situations or circumstances we have previously experienced. Some of you may have family members that continuously identify you with your past and refuse to see the person you are becoming or can be. Then there are others who are allowing the space between their ears, to get the best of them. I want to remind you that everything you’ve been through is DIRECTLY connected to your purpose. At the end of the day, what you BELIEVE and what you THINK is what will manifest! If you BELIEVE you are unworthy of being successful or having successful relationships, then that is what you will see take place…BUT if you know in your heart and walk in the truth that you are worthy of love, healthy relationships and living life fearlessly..Then that is exactly what will manifest!
No one will make you want more for yourself.
No one will make you change your thinking.
No one will make you step out from the norm and follow your dreams.
The choice has been and will always be yours!
Tomorrow is my birthday and I couldn’t feel more blessed than I do right now. There’s so many lessons I’ve learned so far but the most important things that resonate with me are to not be so hard on yourself. Take everything one day at a time and guess what, if you mess up, you can always start over.
Love yourself. Truly love who you are in the moment and don’t settle for mediocrity. Don’t dwell on the things that you can’t change. Focus all of your energy on being a light of encouragement to others. We’re all facing some kind of obstacle.
Finally never be ashamed of your story and of your past. The past is not who you are…But whether good or the not so good days, it’s helped you become the amazing person that you are today ❤️